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Why I Meditate: Suhilla

When & where did you begin to meditate?

Five years ago, I started doing guided meditations on YouTube. I had mixed results and there are obstacles to guided meditation; you need a phone, Wi-Fi and so on. I was working at The Priory and could do some of the mindfulness sessions that were provided there. My sister was using a white noise machine for meditation.

Why did you take up a regular practice? What was the spark?

A friend of mine was a member at the School of Meditation and, as I was having some troubles in life at that time, she suggested that I should join. I was in a new relationship and was finding it tough; I was working through a lot of issues, over-thinking, general anxiety….

I needed something that would help me take a breath, simmer down. I am always trying to work on my health, and I knew meditation would be good for my mental health. I tried the School of Meditation and found it was friendly, welcoming, supportive and a unique practice, so I thought “I’ll give it a go”.

What were your early experiences?

It was tricky, especially trying to do it on my own. I found it difficult to be fully present. Doing it with a group was much easier, even online. And meditating in-person is far easier.

The one-to-one support was really helpful; it helped it go so much better. I tried to do it every day, at least once, and that cemented the practice. When I joined a group, that was quite transformative. I have been in a group now for three years and I am quite dedicated to it because I benefit so much.

I found that my relationship transformed, even my friendships did. I used to attract people who were very draining, they would latch on to me. Now it’s different; I attract people who add value, positivity; their general outlook is much better.

I stopped being in my head so much. Meditation gave me the option to switch it up, even if it’s just for a moment or fleeting moments of peace and rest. This took a bit of time, but when I established a regular practice, I got there quicker. People could tell I was meditating – they told me I seemed at peace. Even on the phone, people knew, they would tell me my voice sounded chilled.

How does meditating affect your everyday life?

I’m a Muslim and when I pray, I connect to God. When I meditate, I connect to myself. The way I’d been conditioned was to look outward, to sacrifice for others. It’s a very different feel to turn inwards; it means you can be there for people in a better way.

A weight has been lifted. Previously it was “I have to do so much for other people” and I was exhausted; I was a doer. Now I’m learning to relax. I’m the oldest girl among my siblings and was expected to look after the others. Now I am learning boundaries.

Previously I took things personally; now, I’m not as attached to outcomes. Meditation helps me to let go, to not waste time thinking about who said what and whether or not I should hold a grudge.

With other people, I let them do them, it’s not affecting me in the same way.

With my daughter, I’m a more conscious parent. I used to be militant but now I’m much more relaxed, I ask her what she wants, there’s more negotiation.

Generally, I have more perspective, things are a bit lighter, less magnified. The knock-on effects are that I’m less reactive with my husband, I relate to him better, and he is now a lot calmer too.

I have a background in mental health and psychology, with training in self-awareness. My journey at the School of Meditation has made me realise that my self-awareness was only in its infancy.

What has been your experience as a member of the School of Meditation?

My friend who recommended the School told me it is a non-profit, that it has a different vibe and a family feel. My family at home will tell me to get to the School if I’m being crazy at home.

The School helps me with acceptance of things as they are. I can arrive for my group on Tuesday evening full of stress and then leave feeling so peaceful. I always sleep really well on Tuesday nights. I have had some time for myself, some time with the group, it’s lovely and restful.

It truly is wonderful, knowing you’re doing something to look after yourself, and learning so much from listening to other people. It’s just so lovely, there’s so much support, you can use the School of Meditation every day.

 

 

To find out more about taking up meditation, please see details of our courses and classes here or contact the School of Meditation's office: 02076036116 / info@schoolofmeditation.org / @schoolofmeditation_som